Wrong Time
by Kailey Hamilton
Summary: "And I couldn't help but wonder, maybe even hope, that he could now understand the girl I used to be." Harry&Cho. Oneshot.


_Notes:__ For Samantha (HP Slash Luv) for the GGE. Also for the Hunger Games II Competition (prompts: word, emotion, genre, dialogue and weapon.)_

* * *

**Wrong Time**

"What are you doing here?"

_Wow. That was a polite greeting, Cho. Good job._

But Harry just sipped down on his coffee, seemingly not offended.

"Work," he said for all explanation, and quickly added. "How about you? I haven't seen you in a long time."

"I live nearby. I'm here all the time." I pointed at the empty chair in front of him. "May I sit?"

It took him a few seconds before he said, "Sure."

"What have you been up to?" There was another silence on his end. I really couldn't take it. "If you don't want to talk..." I managed to push my chair back before he spoke.

"Cho, wait-" he stopped me. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean- I just... haven't you been keeping up?"

Well, that made sense. His face must be all over The Prophet. He probably just thought it weird that I didn't know about his life after the war.

"I haven't, sorry."

"No, it's... nice, actually." He shrugged. "I'm an Auror now. I'm technically on duty right now, but I can't say much else. How about you? How's Corner?"

"Michael? No, that's over. I'm dating a police officer now. His name is Matthew. He might not have a wand, but he has a gun _and_ a taser."

That managed to get half a smile out of him. He put his cup down, looking at me in the eyes.

"I hope he's not the jealous type, then. I don't want to get tased."

"You own a wand," I pointed out.

"Not necessarily helpful. The Ministry is laughably underprepared when it comes to Muggle weaponry. I mean, just imagine a Pureblood trying to use a taser-"

"Maybe you should fight the Death Eaters with tasers, then."

He didn't answer, but he was fully smiling by this point.

"Anyway," I continued, "there's nothing much I can do. I don't... I don't want to go back," I confessed, "and I don't have any Muggle education so I'll find work in a cafe or something-"

"Why not Quidditch? Or maybe in the Department of-"

"Harry, I just don't want to go back."

"Does your boyfriend know...?"

_Does he know what? That I'm a witch? That one of my ex boyfriends died? That I have no friends? That I fought in a war?_

"Not yet." Oh well. The answer was the same, anyway. "But he's got nothing to do with this. I just..." Maybe Harry wasn't the right person to talk to about all of this, but I had literally no one else I could and come on, a few years had gone by, he'd surely understand. "Many people can start over in our world, but not me. It's lonely out there for me, so I might as well just get a fresh start somewhere else."

Maybe he understood, maybe he didn't. Harry just looked away, outside the window, and I knew better than to disturb him. It wasn't easy. I'd longed to talk with him, and now I had the chance, and I was letting it slip.

_Of course I still have feelings for him_. But they weren't feelings of love, I corrected myself. Love was me and Matt, movies and pizza, a quiet night in or a wild night out. Harry had been rage and fights and embarrassment and choosing loyalties. It had been grief too raw to allow us to function.

But it was finishing a whole book while leaving a crucial chapter unread. We never really parted. There were no apologies, or anything to signal finality on an emotional level. I knew it had been right. There used to be so much fire within Harry, a fire that aroused in me both excitement and dread. I'd fancied him in a twisted way that left me breathless. He could be downright caustic. But he was also so kind, and I tortured me, because I understood Harry now. I understood his reluctance to talk to me, his anger, his confusion, everything that could plague the mind of a fifteen-year-old that was dealing with far more than anyone could help him with.

And I couldn't help but wonder, maybe even hope, that he could now understand the girl I used to be. I needed closure.

"Harry, I'm really sorry about this, but I must ask you a very personal question." He looked back at me and nodded once. "I just need to know... It's been so many years, but it would mean a lot to me to hear you talk about Cedric."

I'd said that, and I almost hated myself._ Why do I still want to talk about Cedric? _I'd seen more death since then - and so has Harry. Cedric was just the first among many. Hell, for Harry, it wasn't even the first time he experienced death. He's so revered as The Boy Who Lived that we sometimes forget that his parents didn't earn the same fate.

_How could I forget, back then...?_ But I had to stop this train of thought before it got to me, as it normally does. _No, Cho. Don't be so harsh on yourself. Just because he's had it worse doesn't mean your pain wasn't legitimate. And besides, death is not something one gets desensitized to._

"What about Cedric?" he inquired calmly.

"Harry, if you don't want to talk-"

"No, it's okay; I'm used to it." He sighed. "Besides, now I can give you answers, anyway. Back then..."

"Don't even say it."

"But I want to, right now," he said "because no matter how much I point it out, no one seems to grasp that he didn't die like the hero he truly was. That's all I can say. I was the one to suggest we grabbed the Cup together. I was the one they wanted, not Cedric. And they _discarded_ him. Just because he happened to be there. That's all there is. That's all I have to say. So I hope that's what you wanted to hear, Cho."

There it was - that fire that threatened to burn down everything I held dear, and all I could think of was, _Merlin, I'm glad I didn't hear any of this when I was sixteen._ Because right now, I could be certain he wasn't mad at me. He was just mad at the unfairness of it all - but it still stung.

"No," I answered honestly. "But I needed to, and I'm glad you told me. Just for the record, I don't blame you. I could never blame you."

"Thanks." I didn't even know what he was thanking me for, but I smiled anyway. "It's not easy."

"I'm sure it's not." All I could think of now was Cedric. Cedric without light in his eyes just for being at the wrong place, at the wrong time. Cedric who would stay forever young, but would remain forever with me. "I shouldn't have asked you."

"I'm glad you did, because if anyone deserves to know the truth, that's you." There was warm sincerity in his words, which made me smile. "Back then was just the wrong time, for both of us."

_So he's also thought about it - even if just a little._

"Not really. We could've never been, Harry. It just wasn't... healthy."

"No, I guess not." There was a hint of a smile on his lips as well. "But you know what? It's nice seeing you."

Well. It wasn't much of a closure, but it somehow felt like enough.


End file.
